Pseudo-foodie Blog # Whatever

My children like to eat fish.
Sorry, maybe I should've had you sit down before issuing a statement that shocking. I'll give you a moment.

Seriously, though, my children like to eat fish. Not fish sticks. Real, honest-to-Neptune fish. Charlie prefers cod, but that's expensive. See Cod by Mark Kurlansky for way too many details. We've all decided that tilapia is pretty good too. I love it! What could be easier? Plunk frozen tilapia on oven pan. Salt, chili powder, lemon juice, sage. Oven at 400 for half an hour. And we're all basking in the Omega-3. A few nights ago, the kids and I sat down to a dinner of tilapia, green beans, and homemade (as in not boxed potato by-product) mashed potatoes. Charlie asked for a glass of milk. And they ate it. Sans coercion. I'm getting light-headed just thinking about the nutrition. If only every meal was like this.

Maybe its just me, but food feels like a moral issue. First I think I'm doing a good job because I don't let my kids have Cocoa Puffs or Spaghetti-O's and I make them eat from the Food Groups. But then I start to realize how much sugar is in things that I think of as good food: yogurt, store bought spaghetti sauce, granola bars (even the not-fudge coated ones...) The natural parenting people; the same ones to praise things I believe in, like natural childbirth with midwives, breast feeding, raising your own children, and going outside occasionally... these people are very quick and vocal about how sugar is THE DEVIL! They're the same people who are quick to tell you that potatoes are actually a bread and that corn should only be used as an alternative fuel and suddenly... ACK! What am I feeding my kids!?... I'm not sure I'm doing a good job any more. My children eat sugar and like corn and potatoes... Crap! And you can't buy anything sugar free because it all has aspartame in it and that breaks down into formaldehyde which is... embalming fluid!? ACK! inside your body causing Alzheimer's and dementia and school shootings and tax fraud and parking tickets!!! Going grocery shopping makes me start to hyperventilate. It feels like if my kids don't eat dairy free, sugar free, chemical free, home grown, all natural baby spinach salad with raw walnuts and raspberry vinaigrette and a side of avocados, then I am a failure as a human being. And what kid eats that kind of stuff!? This is the kind of crisis that generally causes me to freak out and bake chocolate chip cookies for comfort. Whew! *wipes brow with an exhausted air*

I'm trying to short circuit the freak out this time around, which led to a strange side effect. I developed a positive obsession with this recipe I heard about on the radio for saffron yogurt, without ever even having tasted it. The problem is that this recipe calls for both saffron and cardamom, each of which requires selling your kidneys on the black market to be able to afford a small bottle. Since I only have two kidneys, and I'm pretty sure I need to keep at least one of them I decided to leave out the cardamom. The good news is that the yogurt was still positively addictive, even without the cardamom. The bad news is, nobody wants to buy my kidney off of Ebay.

Saffron Honey Yogurt 

1 tsp milk
5 threads saffron
1/2 cup plain yogurt
2 Tbsp honey
Dash ground cardamon, cinnamon, ginger, or cloves

Put the milk in a very small bowl and heat it in the microwave for 10-15 seconds. Add the saffron and allow to soak for 5 minutes.

Meanwhile, mix the yogurt, honey, cardamon, etc together in a small bowl. Add the milk-saffron mixture and stir well. Cover and refrigerate for one hour or more. Stir again before serving.

Bliss!