I should start a whole blog dedicated to the witty one-liners my children deliver. They crack me up, almost every day. It has just occured to me that maybe they'd crack you up too. So here's about a week's worth:
When I was a kid, my Dad and I used to have playful "insult" fights. He'd call me a palindrome and I'd tell him we was just a noun. That sort of thing. Apparently that's genetic, because the other day, Abe hauled off with some fightin' words, "You're a Mud-head Broccoli-face!"
Charlie and Abe are playing side by side on the library's children's computers. Charlie tries to get Abe's attention, but Abe has priorities: "Stop it! Elmo's talking to me!"
Charlie does not appreciate the assignment I gave him in homeschool. Fists raised, Charlie asks, "You wanna piece-a me?"
Me: "No. I'm not sure where you've been." (I know. How unoriginal.)
Over breakfast, Abe was talking to his toes, "What's your name?" "Jacob." "What's YOUR name?" "Robin." Who knew his toes had such personality? By the way, neighbors, I think he named them after you. Sort of.
Charlie refuses to get out of bed at ten A.M. one day.
Me: "CHARLIE! COME JOIN THE LIVING!"
Slowly, dragging his behind down from bed, in perfectly plaintive voice, "Why don't you just come join the sleeping??"
The same day, I send Abe and Charlie upstairs to make their beds. After a dramatic pause, Charlie calls down the stairs, "Mommy, Abe wants to know if you're using us for slaves?"
And today...
Charlie does a Kamikaze leap onto the couch from the stairs. He knows not to do this, so the result is predictable, "Charlie, go stand in the corner."
Charlie: "Arg! Not again! I wish this house was ROUND!"
1 comment:
I just love the minds of little people, and yours just made my day! :) My little minds don't seem to be as witty as yours, but when Haley is having a drama queen moment, I tell her to "chill out". So, Noah's constantly telling us all to "chill off". Is that like "bug off"? :)
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